Q: What was your relationship with Reverend Pickard?
A: I never liked the man. We are neighbors, and both our houses back onto the church grounds. He has caused me nothing but trouble since he moved here - constantly lecturing me about rehab, dictating my garden boundaries, and pestering me for money to repair his church. It's his church; he should bloody well fix it!

Q: Did you participate in the bell-ringing contest in the afternoon?
A: Heavens, no! I haven't got time for that nonsense. I haven't set foot in that church for nearly 10 years - I retired to sail my boat, and that's exactly what I do with my time.

Q: Where were you between 10 and 11 p.m. on Saturday?
A: After getting back from sailing around 9 p.m., I went to the pub for a friendly nightcap. But I only stayed for 5 minutes in the end. The two-faced vicar was telling people about my missing cat - how it had started staying in the church these last few weeks and how he was enjoying its company. I was furious because he knew I'd been looking for it and hadn't said anything! I left immediately to get my cat back, but the church was locked. So I went home, drank whiskey, and waited for the vicar to return. I had planned to confront him, but I ended up falling asleep.

Q: Do you know why anyone would have wanted the vicar dead?
A: Speak to Petunia, the church warden. Rumor has it the vicar owed her a lot of money, and I saw her leave the pub with him last night, and that's all I'm saying about this matter!