Q: What was your relationship with Paul Pickard?
A: I was part of his bell-ringing team at Hope Mill for a long time, that is until the muppet asked me to leave. Apparently, because I live in a different village, it was only fair that I join their team instead and make room for people in Hope Mill. It was absolute nonsense. I was just a better ringer than him, and he knew there was going to be a mutiny over the leadership if I was not got rid of. He came across as kind and caring, but the real vicar was a nasty, malicious man.

Q: Did you participate in the bell-ringing contest that afternoon?
A: Yes, I entered as part of the neighboring village's team. I aimed to destroy the vicar and make him sorry for letting me go. Unfortunately, I injured my wrist quite badly early on, which meant I could not put any pressure on it, so I was forced to pull out. That was bad enough, but to make it worse, later in the pub, the vicar laughed in my face about it.

Q: Where were you between 10 and 11 p.m. on Saturday?
A: I had been in the pub opposite the church all evening with my teammates and other people from the bell-ringing contest. But I left around 9:50 p.m. with my sister. I would have stayed later, but because of my wrist, I could not drive myself and needed a ride home.

Q: Did anything out of the ordinary happen that night?
A: Yeah, as I was getting into my sister's car to drive home, I saw Petunia, the church warden, leaving the church in floods of tears.

Q: Do you know why anyone would have wanted to harm the vicar?
A: He had regular altercations with his next-door neighbor, Harold Hastings. He is a nasty man who lives next to the church. Most recently, he has been accusing the vicar of stealing his cat. Harold got all riled up about it in the pub that night and stormed off. I heard the vicar is just looking after it because Harold never feeds the foul thing.